O'Donnell Psychotherapy
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  • Recommended Reading
    • Divorce, Children of Divorce
    • Self-Esteem, Self-Worth

Starting Something New

7/24/2013

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Motivation to Get Fit - Tips on How to Keep the Commitment  by Phil Campbell

Psychologists tell us, when starting something new like a new fitness plan, we become enthusiastic initially. Then we go through four phases before the new activity becomes internalized and part of our normal routine. 

BE PREPARED TO EXPERIENCE FOUR PHASESThe four phases we experience when making a commitment to a fitness plan are Form, Storm, Norm, and Perform.

FORM PHASEThe excitement of beginning a new program is the unmistakable sign of the Form Phase. After making the initial commitment to a fitness plan, sticking with the plan the first couple of weeks should be easy.
STORM PHASEThe Storm phase follows a few weeks later. When we learn the program is hard work (on some days), and we just don't want to train - this is the storm phase. It happens to everyone. Be prepared.

In the Storm Phase, we begin to create excuses (conscious and subconscious) for missing workouts. This is by far the toughest phase to master.



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Courage Components

4/25/2013

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Courage is a strength that can be cultivated. Life is challenging at times, filled with scary moments that feel overwhelming. The following list are some of the ways to develop your courage when facing challenges.

(1)  Moving ahead with progressive action even when we feel afraid

(2) Paying attention to your hearts desire, pursuing dreams 

(3) Tenaciously hanging in there when things get tough

(4) Believing in, standing up for, and doing the right thing

(5) Continue to grow, continue to experience the new

(6) Maintain your dignity and faith even when you feel broken


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New Beginnings. 

1/3/2013

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As one year ends and another begins, we account for the time we've spent. My goal for 2012 was to focus on fun. It was a great year for that! Great gatherings with family and friends, and some fantastic exploring of life. I hope it was a good year for you, also. 


With the beginning of 2013 I'm searching for the key word to define this years goals. I think the word Simplify fits perfectly. Slowing down, cutting out the waste and the worry, and cultivating planned mindfulness. Here are five ways to start this years journey.


1. Is it really that important?  What ever the task is that you believe has to done and are stressed about getting it done, ask yourself, is it really that important? For example, does the sidewalk have to be swept everyday, or will it  be okay to skip a couple days? 

2. Is it really necessary to explain? Sometimes, its simpler to just make a decision and follow through on it, rather than justify, rationalize, defend, or explain every move. Depending on the situation and people involved, sometimes its not necessary.


3. Is it worth the worry? Worry doesn't make things happen or stop things from happening. Practice letting go of worry with the knowledge that you will handle whatever happens in the best way that you know how. That doesn't mean though, that you shouldn't be active in trying to produce the best outcome for yourself. Do what you can, then let go.


4. Is it really all small stuff? Probably not, but it is the roller coaster of life. Practice staying mindful of what is really important to you, keep the focus of peace in your heart as a filter for all experiences, be careful how you interpret life.


5. Is it adding to my satisfaction? Assess your satisfaction levels weekly. How did you spend your time and is your life balanced? Did you express your appreciation enough? Did you express your love enough? Did you invest enough time in yourself? Did you do the things that help you feel good about yourself? Take the time, it matters!

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Accounting for Goals

10/20/2012

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The holidays are arriving quickly, so, I must add my last post for the year. The photo is one I took of the beach on Captiva Island, Florida, now that was a great vacation!. Beautiful! Plus, there were so many firsts! My first experience with manatees, fighting conches, midges, mangroves,eating rock crabs, and taking photos of wild alligators in the everglades. Fun!!

This years global goal of more fun has been accomplished in many ways.
New explorations, two new babies in the family, an underground pig roast where people actually camped out on our property (loved that), more music, and more theatre. Hope your year was great, too!

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EMDR and Early Trauma

7/27/2012

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 COMING TO THE END OF OLD WOUNDS, EMBRACING JOY  May 4th, 2011 | Author: Djoy
I have seen so many therapists. Finding EMDR was like opening the door to allow the past trauma of my childhood to escape and bring forth the JOY that I have been wanting and not finding.

I have recalled memories from as early at 18 months old, gone through the painful past, even felt the pain and moved through the deep wounds that have held me hostage all my life. Sometimes the old wounds have been so deep and painful, that bringing them forward has caused me much pain, anger and rage. I am grateful to my EMDR therapist who has been there to assist me in bringing me out of some difficult times. This type of therapy allows us to come full circle, to the end of each painful memory and feel enriched at the other end. If it was not for EMDR, I would still be stuck inside the pain, with no feelings of JOY. This would truly be sad for the little girl inside me who has been so hurt and for the woman I have grown up to be. EACH OF US DESERVES JOY IN OUR LIVES. Sometimes we need to clean out trauma or core experiences that have held us trapped, to unleash the true spiritual being that is longing to come out.

I wish all of my friends and family as well as all that read this to know that WE do deserve the best, but sometimes we need to revisit the past and dump the garbage to EMBRACE the future of pure JOY.

Thank you Djoy for sharing your experience of such a painful journey. It's good to know you and others are spreading the word that the pain can cease through appropriate treatment. I have seen EMDR turn client trauma around very quickly after much unsuccessful talk therapy, and its always heartwarming to see client's move past the pain they've carried around for so long.

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Divorce Happens Sometimes

6/26/2012

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The Growth of Collaborative Divorce

I sometimes get asked if I'm promoting divorce because of my involvement in the Collaborative Divorce Practice Model. Divorce is typically a sad and upsetting time in peoples life that effects every family member and it's difficult to imagine that anyone promotes that. Rather, what we promote is maintaining one's integrity and peace of mind through an extremely difficult time in one's life.

Since its inception in the 1980's, the Collaborative Law movement has spread rapidly to most of the United States, Europe, Canada and Australia. , More than 22,000 lawyers have been trained in Collaborative Law worldwide and than 1,250 lawyers have completed their training in England and Wales where Collaborative Law was launched in 2003.

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), which was founded in the late 1990's by a group of northern California lawyers, psychotherapists, and financial planners. There are numerous practice groups (or PODS) of collaborative practitioners worldwide.IACP is an interdisciplinary organisation whose members include lawyers, mental health professionals and financial specialists. National Collaborative organisations have been established in many jurisdictions,including Australia, Austria,Canada, the Czech Republic, England, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Kenya, New Zealand, Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland,Scotland,Switzerland, and Uganda, as well as the United States.  The American Bar Association ("ABA"), the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and the International Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers ("IAML") all have Collaborative Law committees.

Divorce is a process that happens in more than 50% of marriages unfortunately, and by using the collaborative process a professional, knowledgeable team helps you stay out of court and complete your resolution in context of your needs rather than what the judge thinks. Let us 



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May: National Mental Health Month

5/12/2012

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Did you know that May was National Mental Health Month? Maybe that means it would be a good time to deal with any emotional baggage that still haunts you. Have an ended relationship that keeps you up at night? Wrestling with your sense of self-worth or self-esteem? Still disturbed by incidences from your childhood? EMDR helps approximately 87% of the population to truly let go of upsetting experiences, and move on to healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives. EMDR is a therapeutic process that helps people reconcile past wounds. This is done by eliminating the emotional load from the events and making cognitive shifts in one's beliefs about the event, self, and relationships. The following article from Harpers Bazarre Magazine written by Alix Strauss demonstrates one person's experience with EMDR. Please copy and paste the following link into your browser to read the article.

 http://www.harpersbazaar.com/beauty/health-wellness-articles/emdr-psychotherapy-0312
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5 Steps to more Peace

5/3/2012

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Step 1: De-Clutter your life: I'm not talking about stuff here, although that may help too. I mean simplify your daily life. Eliminate routines no longer work, tasks that have become too tedious or not in your best interest. Are you over involved, over committed,or trying to be too perfect?

Step 2: Create Balance: Make sure you take time for yourself and for those people who are most important to you. Spend your time wisely doing the things that inspire you and bring meaning to your life because we all have limited time.

Step 3: focus Attention: Let the past go. Be "planful" about the future, but don't over focus on it. Instead, focus on the here and now, stay in the present moment. Be mindful of your journey along the way by noting your experience moment to moment.

Step 4: Simplify your Environment: Slow down, quit creating a mile long to do list, quit cramming ten tasks into one hour. Give yourself time to do nothing but watch the sprinklers.

Step 5: Invest Wisely: Think about how your world is made up. Are your happy? If not, change things. Are your relationships equitable, friendly, and a good investment in your well-being? Do more of those things that bring a sense of self-worth and connection.
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One Afternoon

4/24/2012

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March Madness

4/4/2012

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It's been tough this last month of March. A family member was the victim of a violent crime and his life has been touch and go since the attack. We've had to place a family member in a memory unit, and of course, she doesn't understand why she is where she is. Life had to be reduced to routines in order to cope with the sea of emotions surrounding us. We got through it though and April is looking better. Our family member will survive and gets stronger every day. The other family member seems to be adjusting well to her placement. My son just completed his first solo flight, we saved a rabbit from the jaws of our dog, my joints have quit aching after each zumba class, and I was able to pick some home grown basil.
  Today the sky is filled with clouds, yet tomorrow has the promise of brighter days. Isn't that the cycle of life on a daily basis? We have ups, we have downs, we struggle, we celebrate. Its all life. The depth and the breadth of it is what makes us human .Enjoy it for all it's worth.
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