All families are different, but there are some standards of conduct that can help children through the transition.
-Parents should both be there when the children are told about the decision to divorce. Depending on the personality and age of the child you may want to tell each child seprately or have a family meeting. With both parents present you will quickly establish that you have made a mutual decision (even when it may not be) to divorce thus eliminating blame. You will role model how to work together during a highly emotional time. You will also be demonstrating that they are still the center of the universe and that you are both going to continue to be their parents.
-Have a solid outline of what life will look like after the divorce. The more informed children are about the upcoming changes the more secure they will feel. Conditions, time sharing, and decisions may change in the future, but in the beginning it is helpful if children can get a picture of what their life will look like post divorce.
-Establish individual parent time right from the beginning. Actions always speak louder than words. Show them through actions that you will always be there for them. Small actions such as a walk in the park to feed the ducks, cooking a favorite meal together, or skipping rocks in the lake, are great. Give your children one on one time by providing time for them to ask questions and talk about whats going on for them.